Jan. 10, 1995
On the Senate floor, the recently elected members gathered to take the oath of office. In groups of four, they are sworn in by Vice President Al Gore. The last batch arrives, but one senator is missing. After a few minutes, the secretary of the Senate decides to go ahead. Gore administers the oath: "Do you solemnly swear to uphold the Constitution of the United States?" he asks. After the assembled say "I do" and Gore rushes back to the White House for the first meeting of the President's Commission on Crime and Waste in the Federal Bureaucracy, the truant senator enters the chamber. The secretary informs him he is too late. "But we can swear you in later," he says. "Don't worry about it," Sen. Oliver North replies with a smile.
March 12, 1995.
At a behind-closed-doors Armed Services subcommittee mark-up, several senators discuss a worrisome prospect: due to a shortfall in the military budget they may have to cut funding for the top-secret experimental wave-intelligence particle-induced tactical gun known as WIPIT. "I have a solution," North remarks. "I also sit on the housing subcommittee and we have all these funds for homeless shelters that are not being used at the moment.... "
July 8, 1995
During a meeting at the White House on the President's Bandaids for Schools initiative, North slips away and heads toward Room 302 of the Old Executive Office Building. He is greeted by Josh Seidberg, the 23-year-old director of the Office of MTV Liaison. "Wanted to see the old office," North says.
"Who are you?" Seidberg ask. North shrugs: "Just another government employee. Used to work here. Mind if I look around?"
"Sure, I'm just waiting for a call from Aerosmith's manager."
North walks into the back room and kneels by the window sill. He feels the carpeting, finds a bulge and removes a manila folder. He places the folder underneath his jacket and walks out.
"Plenty of memories?" Seidberg asks.
"So close, you can touch them," North says as he exits.
Dec. 21, 1995
The secretary of state sends North a letter: "We recently checked and discovered that you never took the oath of office. Please contact us so we can make arrangements."
March 11, 1996
During the debate on a new crime bill, which withholds federal law enforcement funds from states that do not make sufficient use of the death penalty, North introduces a "one strike and you're out" amendment. "People with no respect for the law," he declares, "deserve no respect."
May 5, 1996
A joint congressional committee convenes for hearings on the Cuba-Bosnia Affair, which the media had dubbed Cu-Bal-gate. Maj. Barry Howard finishes his prepared remarks, and North interrupts the lead counsel before she can ask her first question. "So, if I understand your testimony correctly, Major," North says, "despite orders not to help the Cuban resistance, you went ahead anyway and rerouted ammunition and cooking oil meant for the fundamentalist, Arab-backed Muslim rebels in Bosnia to the pro-American, Christian, entrepreneurial resistance in Cuba using ex-CIA officers and your connections in the local Chamber of Commerce?"
"Yes, I did, sir."
"Neat idea."
Aug. 20, 1996
At the GOP convention in Sun City, Arizona, North accepts his party's vice-presidential nomination. "When I was in Vietnam," he tells the delegates, "my platoon went out on a long-range reconnaissance mission and was hit hard. We fought off the enemy attack. But afterwards I held in my arms a dying comrade. As life was passing out of him, I asked, 'Phil, is there anything you want me to tell them back home?' Speaking was near-impossible for him. But he opened his eyes and he said, 'Ollie, tell them I love my country. Never let anyone forget that.' Well, ... pardon me, grown men do cry ... . I promised Phil I would, and in his memory let me remind all of us that this great nation is full of such men and women. I love my country. Never let anyone forget."
Aug. 24, 1996
Press accounts disclose that no such episode happened. "He was talking about me," Phillip Korman, a 52-year-old welder in Wainsom, Pennsylvania, says on the Larry King Show. "Yeah, he held me for about 10 seconds. And what I said was my leg hurt like a bitch, that I would always curse the jerks who sent me to 'Nam -- our country screwed us -- and that I wanted to get out of that damn hellhole as fast as I could."
Jan. 12, 1997
In the midst of the scandal that has recently emerged pertaining to the president-elect, Vice President-elect Oliver North calls a press conference. "It is with great sadness," North says, "that I have to report that the president-elect has resigned. He is in seclusion and will not be making a public statement at this point. But he has asked me to relay the following statement: 'Although I still maintain that I do not know how the $2 million in campaign funds ended up in a Swiss bank account in my wife's name, I do take responsibility, and I realize that it will be impossible to fulfill my duties as president in the current atmosphere of distrust. For the best interest of my country, I will not assume the office of president.' "
Jan. 20, 1997
Oliver North stands with his family in front of the Capitol. He looks out at the crowd. The first section of seats is filled with thousands of members of Young Americans for Freedom. The press has been banned, except for C-SPAN and David Brock. In the reviewing stands sit Charlton Heston, Pat Buchanan, Jerry Falwell, Manucher Gorbanifar, Joe Gibbs and Slim Whitman. Rush Limbaugh reads a poem he has written for the occasion. Justice Clarence Thomas holds out a Bible and begins to administer the oath: "Do you, Oliver Laurence North, solemnly swear to uphold the Constitution ... ?" Thomas looks up. North is gone. As he scoots up the Capitol steps, North turns around and shouts, "Too busy for that. So much to do. We'll take care of it later."
David Corn is Washington editor of the Nation magazine.