BURNING THE BARN TO KILL A RAT

"That George Bush is one lucky son of a gun," the cabbie said. "Here he is looking like a genius when, by all rights, he ought to be looking like my Uncle Mush."

"Uncle Mush?" I said.

"Didn't I ever tell you about Uncle Mush, the one who was scared of rats? He once burned down a barn to get rid of a rat. Had to rebuild the darned thing from the ground up, and -- wouldn't you know it? -- the rat got away."

"A lot of people let their frustrations lead them into bad judgment," I said. "But what has that got to do with the president?"

"Just think about it," the cabbie said. "Bush sends thousands of troops into Panama, destroys the government, gets a lot of people killed -- theirs and ours -- and has to rebuild the entire Panamanian economy, all because of one rat named Noriega. Just like Uncle Mush. But Lucky George got his rat."

I liked his rodentine reference to the deposed Panamanian strongman, but I thought the cabbie was off-base comparing President Bush to his dimwitted uncle.

"I've heard you complain about what drugs are doing to your neighborhood," I told him. "How can you criticize the president for moving against a notorious drug trafficker like Noriega? It may be one of his finer moments."

"Well it sure knocked out the drug traffic, didn't it?" the cabbie said. "I just drove past Lafayette Park, and I didn't see a single drug dealer."

I ignored his sarcasm and acknowledged that the drug war is not yet won. After all, I explained, Noriega is just one of the international drug merchants.

"So why aren't we sending troops to Peru and Colombia and California?" he said.

"Because those are sov ... What I mean is, it wasn't just the drugs. For your information, the Panamanians killed an American officer ... "

"And so did the Soviets," he interrupted. "Remember Lt. Col. Arthur D. Nicholson Jr., who was shot down and allowed to bleed to death in East Germany back in '85?"

" ... And they also sexually harassed the wife of an American lieutenant," I persisted.

"You're right," the cabbie said. "If this country won't go to war to defend white womanhood, we might as well hang it up."

"It's not about 'white womanhood,' " I shouted. "It's about justice. Noriega has been indicted for drug offenses, and the president is right to bring him here to stand trial."

"It's the dumbest idea yet," the cabbie said. "Sounds like something Uncle Mush would do. Didn't Noriega used to be an employee of the CIA back when Bush was in charge? If we had trouble trying a so-called patriot like Ollie North because of the documents and witnesses he wanted for his defense, can you imagine the hell that will break loose when Noriega starts demanding secret documents and CIA witnesses for his trial? I wouldn't be surprised if the rat got away after all."

"And what would you do?" I demanded.

"It all depends on what you want to accomplish," the cabbie said. "Bush said he wanted Noriega out of power so the elected government could take over. Well, he's out of power. Bush said he wanted him out of the drug business. Well, he's out of the drug business. Does Bush now want to house and feed him for the rest of his life? Or take the chance that a court will find him innocent because the government won't give up its secrets? If you ask me, your president is so mad he doesn't know what he wants."

"I'll tell you what he wants," I screamed. "He wants democracy restored in Panama, he wants safety for white, I mean, safety for American GIs and their dependents and he wants an international drug criminal brought to justice. Is that so hard to understand?"

"I understand that he wants Noriega dead," the cabbie said. "Didn't he put a million-dollar bounty on his head? What I don't understand is why he bothered with the military and the drug-enforcement people. Why didn't he just send a CIA hit squad to Panama to take him out? That way, he'd have accomplished his mission without having to spend money we don't have to rebuild Panama's government and economy, not to mention the damage he's going to give to our criminal-justice system.

"I'm telling you, Bush is just like my uncle. Instead of taking a rifle and shooting that damned rat, he's still burning down barns."

Articles appear as they were originally printed in The Washington Post and may not include subsequent corrections.