Dear Berkeley Daily Planet Editor:
     On July 4, 2002, I went to Washington DC to serve a "3-day Notice to Perform or Quit" on the tenants of the White House.  Said tenants were not living up to their lease agreement (The U.S. Constitution) and I, as citizen cum landlord, objected to their cavalier disregard for said lease agreement.
     Gingerly, I approached the fence around the White House, expecting at any moment to have Secret Service guys pounce on me and haul me off to jail despite my faith in the First Amendment (the right to petition the Government for a redress of grievances). 
     Gingerly, I Scotch-taped my 3-day notice to the fence. 
     Nothing happened!
     I had done my civic duty -- and had actually gotten away with it! Some nearby tourists even applauded!
     Happily, I turned away from the fence -- thinking that perhaps there was Democracy left in the land after all!  Happily, I turned to walk toward the Mall where the big Fourth of July fireworks extravaganza was about to go off.  At that exact point, I tripped on a piece of broken sidewalk and broke my arm.
     So.  Where does the Berkeley Daily Planet fit into this melodrama?  Read on:  The DC emergency room said that the bone I broke didn't need a cast.  The Alta Bates emergency room said that the bone I broke didn't need a cast.  But the bone still hurt!  Finally, in desperation, I wrapped a copy of the Berkeley Daily Planet around my arm (the July 7 issue to be exact), tied it up with an Ace bandage and Viola! got instant relief. 
     So.  Thank you for your help.  And thank you also for having just exactly the right size and shape hometown newspaper to fit safely and snugly between my elbow and my wrist.
       Best regards, Jane Stillwater, Berkeley, CA
PS:  This is what I posted:
THREE-DAY NOTICE TO PERFORM OR QUIT
 
      TENANTS IN POSSESSION OF THE PREMISES LOCATED AT AND COMMONLY KNOWN AS:
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20500
     YOU ARE HEREBY NOTIFIED that you have violated the following covenants of your Lease Agreement, The Constitution of the United States, the agreement under which you hold possession of the above-described premises:
     Tenants, and each of them, have failed to protect and defend The Constitution of the United States [including but not limited to the Bill of Rights] as follows: 
     Constitutional Article II, Section 1. [3]:  The Person having the greatest Number of Votes shall be President:  Current tenants have not met this criteria for tenancy and are in illegal possession of said premises.
     Constitutional Article II, Section 1. [7]:  ...[H]e shall not receive...any other Emolument from the United States, or any of them: Current tenants have caused funds to be diverted away from state and federal agencies, bureaus and departments, and diverted toward other personal and/or vested interests and investments including but not limited to weapons production and the production of fossil fuels.
      Constitutional Article IV, Section 4.:  The United States shall...protect [every state] against Invasion: New York State failed to receive said protection.
      Further, tenants have failed to protect and defend the Constitution and also the country bound by its statutes by failing to provide for the common defense in a manner that maximizes fiduciary responsibility.
     Example:  Tenants failed to discern that it is less costly and more productive to defend the United States by the promotion of the health, education and welfare of its citizens -- and the world -- than it is to declare nuclear war on other countries and to spend trillions of dollars on weapons of wholesale slaughter; said slaughter only serving to create more and fiercer enemies of the state.
      Example:  Tenants failed to discern that it is less costly and more productive to promote economic and agricultural efficiency than it is to pursue an economy based on fossil fuel to the benefit of confederates and associates in control of fossil fuel production.
      Constitutional Article VI [3]:  ...all executive officers...shall be bound by Oath or Affirmation, to support this Constitution: Tenants have failed to support The Constitution of the United States as evidenced by the "Patriot Act" and other such infringements.
     Constitutional Bill of Rights:  Congress shall make no law respecting...abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances:  Tenants failed in their duty to advise Congress in this matter; and did indeed encourage Congress to disregard said Constitutional Amendment.
      The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers and effects, against unreasonable search and seizures:  This right has been repeatedly violated by tenants.
     With regard for citizens' rights to a speedy and public trial, trial by jury, restraint from use of cruel and unusual punishment, etc.:  The current tenants have given away United States citizens' civil rights and liberties hand over fist.
     Amendment XV:  The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged...by any State:  Tenants and/or their representatives have conspired to deny the right of citizens to vote.  Their rights have been thus violated and abridged.
      Further, as recipients of public housing benefits, tenants of the White House are subject to the "one strike, you're out" regulation concerning the use of drugs by their relatives.
     YOU ARE FURTHER NOTIFIED that within THREE (3) DAYS after the date of service of this notice on you, you must cure the foregoing breaches of covenant, by providing to the landlord evidence that you are conducting the business of the executive branch in such a manner as to reasonably meet the requirements of the lease aka The Constitution of the United States, or quit said premises and deliver up possession of the same to the landlord, the People of the United States of America.
     If not cured within THREE DAYS, the undersigned will institute legal proceedings for unlawful detainer against you to recover possession of said premises, to declare said Lease forfeited and to recover damages, attorneys' fees and costs of suit.
     YOU ARE FURTHER NOTIFIED that by this notice, the landlord elects to and does hereby declare a forfeiture of said Lease if said covenant is not performed within said three (3) days.
Dated: July 4, 2002         By Jane Stillwater, Berkeley, CA 94703
POINTS AND AUTHORITIES:
      Right to petition the government for redress:  Under Amendment I of The Constitution of the United States, Petitioner Jane Stillwater is granted the right to petition the government for redress. Further, as a citizen and taxpayer of these United States, Stillwater is thereby qualified to petition as Landlord in this adversarial proceeding.
     Unlawful Detainer:  White House tenants meet requirements for a Three-Day Notice to "Perform or Quit" under California Code of Civil Procedure as follows:
     Grounds for the three-day notice:  Landlords may evict tenants pursuant to a written three-day notice to terminate for breach of covenant in the rental agreement [CCP § 1161(3)] or nuisance or use of the premises for an illegal purpose [CCP § 1161(4)].
     A three-day written notice to "perform or quit" is likewise proper to evict tenants who have violated any other material covenant of the rental agreement [CCP § 1161(3)].
     "Nail and Mail":  Under "conspicuous" service, sometimes called "nail and mail", the landlord affixes a copy of the notice to a conspicuous place on the property, mails another copy to the tenant, and leaves a third with a person residing on the premises (if one can be found) [CCP § 1162(3)]
      ______________________
      "Imagine a world where EVERY child is wanted, nurtured, protected and loved:  World Peace in one generation!"  And Democracy too!




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