Scene 3

(NORMAN's shrouded figure materializes, performs "FOURTH and FIFTH LAWS OF REALITY":)

NORMAN: "Truth is ever changing reality, unknowable. In a world of competing notions of reality, wise individuals must determine survival necessities on a priority schedule."

(JONAH, FEY, BO, MONK face JUDGE l (Jl). UJC faces JUDGE 2 (J2). Court Clerk bustles between them. Two large US Marshals stand with arms crossed between UJC and others, staring stoically at the audience except to look threateningly from time to time and in unison at one side or another as the dialogue warrants.)

JUDGE 1: "You say you want to represent yourself, Mr. Jonah?" (Looks over glasses disdainfully at a very long computer printout, then at JONAH.) "It seems you have had ample opportunity to learn the policies of The Court ... what is this, one, two, three, four ... seventeen arrests?"

JONAH: "Twenty-two, Judge."

JUDGE 2: "You say you want to represent yourself, Mr. ... UJC is it?"

UJC: "As is my Constitutional right, your Honor."

JUDGE 1 / JUDGE 2: "A man who represents himself, it has been said, has a fool for a client. Therefore your motion is denied. The Court will assign an attorney to give you advice, as is your right under the Constitution. Can you afford your own attorney?"

ALL DEFENDANTS in unison: "No."

JUDGE 1 / JUDGE 2: "Then the Court shall provide you with one."

(CHIZZUM and OTHER ATTORNEY(S) walk out of the shadows. CHIZZUM stands near UJC; OTHER ATTORNEY(S)next to other defendants.)

JUDGE 1 / JUDGE 2: "Do you attorneys take these defendants to be your lawfully wedded clients?"

CHIZZUM / OTHER ATTORNEY(S): "We do, your Honor."

JUDGE 1 / JUDGE 2: "The Court pronounces you attorney/client, till sentencing do you part. Do you have anything you wish to say on behalf of your clients?"

OTHER ATTORNEY(S): "No, except that the records clearly support release on personal recognizance, your Honor."

JUDGE 1: "Motion granted."

CHIZZUM: (In an oily voice) "Your Honor, I would move that this case be dismissed because there were no camping regulations posted in the Park at the time of my client's arrest."

(OTHER DEFENDANTS suck in their breath and turn to observe UJC while their attorney(s) attend JUDGE 1.)

JUDGE 2: "Totally inappropriate, Mr. Chizzum. Motion denied." (JONAH's group exhales in a moaning sigh. UJC stands with legs splayed.)

CHIZZUM: "Then, your Honor, I recommend my client undergo psychiatric evaluation at St. Elizabeth's Hospital."

JUDGE 2: "Not outpatient?"

CHIZZUM: "He has no home, your Honor, no family, he therefore can't be relied on to attend outpatient evaluations. He appears to be suffering from some sort of delusion that he can take his case before the Supreme Court. He claims he's running for President on the sidewalk of Lafayette Park. He lives in abject poverty, you can see he doesn't even have a decent shirt or a pair of shoes...."

UJC: "They were stolen from me by the police."

JUDGE 2: "Quiet. Let your counsel speak on your behalf."

UJC: "He's not MY counsel."

(MARSHALS threaten.)

CHIZZUM: "And I'm simply not sure, your Honor, that my client is competent to stand trial."

(Lights go down on all but CHIZZUM and JONAH, who face each other.)

JONAH: "Precisely what was it that made you suspect that your client might require psychiatric evaluation, Mr. Chizzum?"

CHIZZUM: "He disagrees with the rules, the regulations, the values, and the structure of The System. In fact, he disagrees with just about everything about The System."

JONAH: "Okay. But specifically what was it that made you question his sanity?"

CHIZZUM: "When someone disagrees with everything about The System, it makes his life very difficult." (CHIZZUM turns to plead his case to the audience. JONAH watches.) "It's not that I believe this man is a bad person, mind you. On the contrary. I have no negative opinion of him at all. I merely think he's the victim of his own delusions. I have three other clients who are getting excellent treatment at St. Elizabeth's Hospital -- and they're MUCH better off than they would be starving and freezing in the streets. And I've observed how their personalities change under the therapy, particularly when they begin psychotropic medications. They become much calmer, more cooperative, less apt to argue, much more acceptable in the eyes of a civilized society."

(JONAH looks directly at CHIZZUM as he speaks. CHIZZUM refuses to look JONAH in the eye, fidgets with his papers.)

JONAH: "It's not that I believe you are intentionally a bad person, Mr. Chizzum. On the contrary. I believe you're a brainwashed advocate of society's delusions. And your own. For your actions would indicate that you suffer from the delusion that you are God, and that it is preferable to be locked up and deprived of all your rights as a free civilized citizen simply to have a warm bed, three hot meals, all the TV you can stomach, and a perpetual state of drug-induced semi-catatonia. Even if you are correct that UJC's ideas are delusions -- and unless the Constitution and the Bill of Rights have been superceded I don't see how that can be -- is anyone besides the government complaining that they are suffering as a result of his beliefs? Could the government be complaining because he's right? On the other hand, if your beliefs are delusionary that you can play God with the rights and freedoms of a man simply because he's poor and sitting on the sidewalk speaking his mind, who are you hurting?"

(Lights come up on JUDGE 2 and UJC.)

JUDGE 2: (To UJC.) "Do you have anything to add?"

UJC: "I would like to represent myself, your Honor. I do not recognize Mr. Chizzum as my attorney. I would like to have my case heard at the next level of federal court ... I believe it might merit Supreme Court review. I would like a jury trial."

JUDGE 2: "We have already ruled that you must have an attorney to protect your rights. We also agree with Mr. Chizzum's motion that you undergo inpatient evaluation to determine your competency to stand trial on these charges. We are sure you will not be able to have a jury trial since you are charged with a petty offence which at the maximum can only take six months of your life and $500. We shall see you in 30 days. Thank you, Mr. Chizzum. Next case."

(Lights down on UJC / CHIZZUM / JUDGE 2. Lights rise on Judge l, OTHER DEFENDANTS and OTHER ATTORNEYS, who have changed position slightly, and stand facing JUDGE 1.)

JUDGE 1: "We wish we had the time to be more artistic in our summation of the facts, but the constraint of time prohibits aesthetics."

(LIGHTS RISE on UJC/CHIZZUM/Judge 2 again, who have changed positions slightly.)

JUDGE 2: "The fact is, the defense has shown beyond reasonable doubt, without any help from the government I might add, that this man is incompetent to stand trial on the charges of 36 CFR 50.27, 'camping'..."

JUDGE 1: "The fact is, after seven days of testimony by Officer Payne which was, to say the least, contradictory and inconsistent, the government has failed in its obligation to establish beyond a reasonable doubt those defendants' guilt on charges of 36 CFR 50.27, 'camping'...."

JUDGE 2: "...due to the testimony of the clinical psychologist of St. Elizabeth's Hospital, who testifies that this defendant refuses to cooperate, and may never be competent to stand trial..."

JUDGE 1: "...and has, in fact, raised some issues as to First Amendment rights which I regret will not be our fortune to decide in this particular case.... I feel sure that these First Amendment issues will be addressed at a later date by this Court, or others, with these defendants, or others...."

JUDGE 2: " virtue of the fact that he is paranoid schizophrenic, chronic type, and he is unclear as to the judicial proceedings involved...."

JUDGE 1: "...However, to continue further with these proceedings would be to turn prosecution into persecution. Case is hereby dismissed."

JUDGE 2: "...We therefore order him to continue his evaluation and treatment at St. Elizabeth's Hospital, which shall include the administering of any medications the doctors may deem of assistance in bringing defendant to a state of competency. Case is hereby continued indefinitely."

(UJC is led away by Marshals. Other defendants turn to watch him being led away. NORMAN steps out of the shadows and performs his NINTH LAW OF REALITY:)

NORMAN: "Nobody's stupidities are superior to your own. The smartest person in this world would possess less than l% of the world's knowledge. We are all at least 99% stupid."


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